INDYCAR: New Lotus press release

Lotus is pleased to announce its strategy to maximise brand exposure at the upcoming Indianapolis 500.

This carefully thought strategy consists of four main pillars:

1. Ensure our partners Judd build a really crap engine

Self explanatory.

2. Piss off the teams we supply by not giving them enough crap engines

Follow up with each individual team to make sure they dump us as an engine supplier and ideally sue. Keep a team or two to ensure publicity during the actual event.

3. Hire a 47 year old that never drove an oval and doesn’t drive open wheelers since 2001 as ambassador for the brand. Get him a place at the Indy 500

Self explanatory.

4. Maximise publicity by going very slowly in qualifying and the race

Ensure appropriate headlines such as:

“Lotus’ only hope of qualifying is that there are only 33 qualifiers for 33 spots”
“Jean Alesi qualifies for Indy 500 with a speed that would enable him to last start the race in 1988”
“Indy Lights running faster than Alesi”
“Lotuses black flagged after 5 laps for being too slow, no one was pitting at the time so maximum TV exposure attained”

Lotus is still working on this last point. Stay tuned for Sunday.

Yours
Dany

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